Why does everything have to be a battle?
Home-educating and single parenting is definitely beginning to take its toll. I’m increasingly telling Kai off for being cheeky and frequently losing my temper. It’s the little niggly things that are putting a strain on our relationship. Repeating yourself in the morning before school is bad enough, but at least you have 6 hours to recover. With home-ed there is no respite, and a bad morning can last the rest of the day. You just have to get on with it. My bad sleep routine has made me very snappy and made me less resistant to behaviours I would otherwise ignore.
Note to self: work on getting to bed before 11 every night
While I have attempted to get to bed earlier, my mind, not quite used to the transition is still on full go and I’m finding it difficult to sleep for a full 8 hours. Going to bed at 11 and waking up at 3 has been sheer torture, but I have tried to be positive and read my bible until I’m able to go back to sleep again. I have also recently decided to re-sit my Maths A level, doing the AS in July at quite late notice. The pressure of knowing I have only 2 and a bit months to come go through the books before the first exam has probably contributed to my sleep issues.
The pressure of study and the very intense nature of our relationship is making me think a return to school in September on a part-time basis may be an option. Kai, naturally, is against this idea, but I am considering carrying on with the A2( second half of the Alevel) in September and may also start a degree course. While I don’t consider school to be ideal, flexi-schooling has in the past worked quite well for us, and perhaps I should have tried to have Kai at home for more than one day when he was being flexi-schooled previously. It would mean having to play the school game for a while, which i’m not happy with. But this could work for a short while.
I haven’t made any firm decisions as yet and would need to see how things pan out over the next few months before a decision is made. Ultimately, if Kai is really against the idea then it’s a no go. I live in hope that more support materialises and that we manage to find our groove. But until then I keep my options open and keep trudging on…